Java's Funny Comments In Various Libraries (Part 2)
Continuing from part 1, we bask ourselves in some of the "funniest" comments found in various Java libraries.
What Was a Charmander Doing Here?
From com.google.common.base.CharMatcher class, line 68:
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Because CharMatcher sounds like Charmander (maybe), a Pokémon, we get beautiful ASCII art here! Reason? For lulz I guess?
Yuck! Please Shut Up, Compiler!
From com.sun.org.apache.xpath.internal.axes.BasicTestIterator class, line 162
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Yes, compiler, please stop nagging me with that senseless variable assignment!
Oops! I Couldn't Load the Native Library
From java.lang.ClassLoader class, line 2283:
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Oops, all attempts at loading the native library failed! Too bad!
Ouch! No Hard Drives Found!
From sun.awt.shell.Win32ShellFolder2 class, line 411:
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When no non-removable hard drive is present, the system returns a generic C:\\ as the fallback option.
Also, look at that hellish nested code. It wouldn't pass modern quality gates. Perhaps the developers were rushing to meet a deadline back then?
Here's some consolation: don't worry if you write bad code, you will improve. Everyone writes bad code at some point, even the Java makers themselves!
I Dare You To Mock that List
From org.mockito.Mockito class, line 3128 (yes, finding the class declaration at line 1775 requires archaeological skills, and I'm convinced the JavaDoc-to-code ratio here violates several laws of physics):
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The Mockito codebase reads like a developer comedy special: equal parts helpful advice and existential dread about bad testing practices. But their dramatic warnings come with genuinely good sense: don't mock List when ArrayList and LinkedList are sitting right there, eager to be actual lists in your tests. It's the difference between hiring a stunt double to breathe for you versus just... breathing.
Don't burn in hell, please!
Oh Mighty Aphrodite, Please Bless Us With Security
From sun.security.provider.JavaKeyStore class, line 824:
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You need such a mighty secure salt to add into your password for extra salty safety!